Ursula Hitler: Ursula Hitler is both the creator of and setting for Inside Ursula Hitler's Head. That's a picture of her, over there. This cartoon takes place inside her mind. (But somehow it also takes place inside the cartoon reality of Xtranormal.com. Yes, that doesn't make any sense at all, but you're just gonna have to work with me, here.) Ursula has godlike control over the cartoon characters who live in her head, and for kicks she likes to screw around with them and make their lives hell. As Meany once explained it in an aside to the audience, "So, my God is a twisted bitch... Like yours is so much better."
Ursula's been known to assume cartoon form and visit her creations, in the form of an improbably sexy lady with an upper-crusty British accent. Sweetie and Meany can also contact Ursula via the "video phone" when they're in trouble, but on the rare occasions when she answers she's usually no damn help at all.
Mr. Meany: Mr. Meany is an old man who represents Ursula's cranky, depressed, sickly and anti-social side. Meany claims that he hates all things - including himself - but he especially hates Ursula, his creator. Most stories involve Meany being changed into a pretty girl at some point, and he deeply resents these constant assaults on his masculinity.
Meany has learned how to hack into Xtranormal's programming, and now he has the power to transform people and things within Xtranormal. Unfortunately Meany's hacker skills aren't too reliable, and one little mistake can have disastrous consequences.
Meany suffers from a condition called digital syphilis, and his zeroes and ones are all messed up. Meany takes a bizarre pride in his disease, and indeed it has actually saved the day on several occasions.
Meany is a cranky old cuss, but underneath it all he's not so bad. His feelings for Sweetie run much deeper than he'd ever admit, and he can't understand why a girl like her cares about a nasty old man like him at all.
Sweetie: Sweetie is Meany's opposite, in many ways. She loves to party, makes friends easily and is much more impulsive and optimistic than Meany. (Although she also has an impressive temper, and when backed into a corner she's been known to bust out her "crazy ninja moves.") She longs for adventure and new experiences, and is generally more relaxed when weird things happen. In fact, she often says she "likes weird."
Sweetie's very much a girly-girl, and loves anything pink, fuzzy and/or sparkly. She thinks she's the hottest girl alive and she'll stare at her reflection in the mirror for hours, like a parakeet. She'd gladly marry herself, if she could.
But underneath it all, Sweetie has some serious self-esteem issues. She underestimates her own intellect and bravery, and when things get really scary she sometimes loses hope because she thinks she's "just a cartoon party girl." She feels guilty about being obsessed with things like stylish handbags and finding the perfect shade of lipstick, and she (wrongly) thinks that Meany is the one with all of the smarts in their partnership.
Her relationship with Meany is complicated but loving. She gets a sick thrill out of teasing him whenever he gets changed into a girl or some other weird fate befalls him, but she's quick to cheer him up whenever he's low and she'd risk her life to save him when he's in danger. She treats Meany like a combination best friend, mentor and hapless little brother, but she's seemingly unaware of Meany's true feelings for her.
Above all else, Sweetie wants to be real, to escape her cartoon world and live a real life.
Lulzo: Several years ago, a 36-year-old virgin from Oxnard poured all of his rage and despair into creating the most evil computer virus of all time. The result was Lulzo. Lulzo usually takes on the form of a little plastic clown from Xtranormal's Lego-like Playgoz world, but changing his shape is just one of his many dark powers.
Lulzo wants to take over the internet, but he'll settle for destroying it. He enslaves programs, corrupts hard drives, and never stops coming up with new ways to be creepy and awful. His only goal, his only joy, is making others suffer.
A lifetime devoted to total evil has left Lulzo rather lonely, and for a time he believed that he had found a like-minded soul in Mr. Meany. But their brief "partnership" ended with Lulzo defeated, humiliated and infected with Meany's digital syphilis. Now Lulzo is more unstable and dangerous than ever, and he'll stop at nothing to get revenge on Meany.
Mandy the Microbe: Mandy used to live a lonely life as a microscopic blob in Sweetie's belly button, but she finally found a friend when Sweetie shrank to microscopic size. Sweetie took pity on Mandy and brought her along when she returned to normal size, and sometime later Mandy got turned into a clone of Sweetie when one of Sweetie's experiments with Xtranormal's programming went awry. Now Mandy is trying to cope with her new, people-shaped body and her powerful, apparently non-reciprocated crush on Mr. Meany.
Officer Nobb: Officer Nobb is a wee plastic cop from Xtranormal's Department of Source Code Enforcement. He does not take kindly to Meany constantly hacking into Xtranormal's programming, and would gladly delete Meany from the system completely. Nobb often serves as a kind of spokesman for the Xtranormal programmers, passing along important news or negotiating on their behalf.
A while back Meany used his hacker skills to turn Nobb's partner, Officer Tingles, into a little blond Lego girl. Nobb was distressed to discover that Tingles didn't really seem to mind. Tingles is still a little girl and continues to serve as Nobb's partner on the force, much to Nobb's annoyance.
Fiona Pretzels: Fiona is a feminist grad student who considers herself an expert on the subject of misogynist narratives. She has nothing good to say about this cartoon, or her own rather stereotypical depiction within it.
Badd Doggy P: Badd Doggy P is an absolutely hopeless wannabe rapper and a constant irritant for Mr. Meany. Despite his constant boasts about his mad skillz and his harem of horny bitches, Badd Doggy is actually sort of a dorky, naive fellow who spends his Saturday nights playing Scrabble with his Aunt Agnes.
Skeeter: Skeeter is a funny-looking, dorky little guy who just wants to be left alone. Ursula likes to change him into a pretty girl just so she can listen to him complain about it.
Butch Butchley: Butch is a very manly young man who suffers from a common but rarely-discussed condition known as Spontaneous Girlification Syndrome. Whenever Butch's masculinity is threatened, he instantly transforms into a cute little girl named Priscilla. It's
Mr. Boxxo: Who is this strange, cardboard box man? How did he come to be? What does he want? All we know for sure is that Mr. Boxxo is here, and we're all just going to have to deal with that.
